This time of year comes wrapped in a familiar script: be merry, be grateful, be present. Shine brighter, gather closer, smile wider. But it rarely asks us to be honest. And honestly? Maybe that’s the one invitation we most need. (Because if I’m being real, I’d be perfectly content on the couch in my comfy jammies with a bowl of ice cream, skipping the small talk entirely.)
Beneath the glitter, gatherings, and pressure to “make it magical,” there’s often a quieter reality—one filled with shifting identities, old sorrows, new priorities, and truths we’ve been gently avoiding: the traditions that no longer feel meaningful, the rituals that have lost their spark, the people we so desperately miss, the energy we no longer have, the conversations that feel too tender to bring to the table.
So what if this season wasn’t about performance at all? What if it was about truth-telling?
What would happen if we said:
This tradition doesn’t feel like mine anymore.
I need more rest than celebration this year.
I’m grieving someone who isn’t here.
I’m craving conversations that matter—about life, death, change, meaning.
These are the kinds of truths that surface naturally at the end of life—what we want, what we fear, how we hope to be remembered. But we don’t have to wait until the final chapters to speak honestly. In fact, we shouldn’t.
Each new day is a chance to inch closer to the life you crave. When we name our needs, our griefs, our limits, and our values, we create room for deeper connection. We gift the people who love us an opportunity to know us deeply and fully. And we give ourselves permission to live in alignment with who we really are—not who the season says we should be.
So as the world speeds up, I hope you slow down long enough to check in with yourself:
What needs to be said?
Which traditions and rituals still feel meaningful—and which are ready to be retired?
Where could rest replace obligation? Where are you shrinking or stretching to make others comfortable?
What honest conversation would bring you closer to answering the question, “What must I do to be at peace with myself, so that I can live well and die wise?”
If you’re tired of pretending that everything is all holly-jolly and wish to acknowledge the hurts, the longings, the loneliness and regrets, know that you are not alone, you are not crazy, you are not selfish. Wherever you find yourself this holiday season, I’m wishing you peace, joy and some good old-fashioned truth-telling.
This season, may honesty be the gift you give yourself. You are worth it!