Gary and I leave this Thursday for Europe. We will visit Athens for a few days then head out on an Oceania cruise for 7 nights with stops in Greece, Italy, Monaco, France and Spain. We will conclude our 2-week adventure with a few days in Barcelona. We are excited to celebrate 20 years of marriage. We both love milestones and love celebrating, so we decided to GO BIG! Neither of us have been to Athens or Barcelona and we’ve never done a cruise together. We anticipate a wonderfully relaxing time away and the opportunity to reflect on these last 2 decades and dream about what is ahead.
Speaking of dreams…. many of you know my aspiration to serve those who are dying. I completed my death doula coursework in January and in February I had the privilege of spending a few weeks with my neighbor Mark. Mark had cancer and by the time I started regular visits he was bedbound and could not talk. He would write feverishly in his notebook, and I would ask questions. We spent time in silence, just being present with each other. Mark shared his thoughts on death and the afterlife. He also shared some regrets from life. He was still holding onto some shame and guilt concerning his service in the Vietnam War. And you could visibly see the toll it was taking on him. Tears flowed freely as we talked about forgiveness, especially the hard work of forgiving ourselves. In those few, short weeks, I witnessed something shift in Mark. It was as if his distress, his sorrow, began to lift and peace began to settle in. I’d like to believe Mark did forgive himself. Though I will never know for sure, he did die peacefully.
About one month later, the hospice patient I had been visiting weekly since last June died. She was 96 years young and had been telling me for several weeks that she was ready to die. During our last visit this is the Send Off Prayer I shared with her:
To the mystery that creates us,
laughs with us,
weeps with us,
and who walks with us
each step of our journey,
energizing us
when our strength fails.
Today our hearts break with grief,
our voices crying out words of lament.
And so we ask you to please
flow in and around us today
as we send off [name].
Help us to see through the veil of tears
that there is hope for ongoing connection,
that death of the body cannot sever
the energy of love.
Please ensure that [name] knows our love always.
Please help [name] be free from pain, fear, and suffering.
We wish HER a most auspicious What’s Next.
May it be so.
These two experiences confirmed my desire to serve in death work. I know I will have more opportunities to serve those who are actively dying. I also look forward to creating opportunities for you to talk about death, to prepare for your death (we are all going to die after all), and ultimately to live your “one wild and precious life” more fully! I wholeheartedly believe that when we confront our mortality the outcome is a more purposeful and meaningful life.
Summer is a season of heat and energy. I’m looking forward to some unique opportunities to practice yoga with you on the Summer Solstice and International Day of Yoga. My business, logo and website will also be revamped this summer to better reflect my two roles: yoga teacher & death doula.
I have such deep gratitude for this community and look forward to the ways our paths will continue to intersect.
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